Hmmm yesss Continental Conquest... Delicious.

We had an interesting experience yesterday that I wanted to share. First, a little background information;  on an almost daily basis, we walk Sir Poopsalot (Buddha) down Kloof and over towards the Company's Garden, by way passing the historic Mount Nelson Hotel. The light pink sprawling complex of colonial affluence stands as a reminder of European colonization throughout Africa. Though a beautiful property it remains a very un-African experience lodged in the center of the Garden's neighborhood, with it's high walls and ever watchful security detail. Though we had seen it often, we never bothered or wondered about what was behind the walls.

Some interesting facts about the Mount Nelson. It's not named after Nelson Mandela as I had assumed for the last 3 months, in fact "it was named the Mount Nelson in honour of Admiral Lord Nelson, who died at the Battle of Trafalgar in 1805" according to the Mount Nelson website. So much of this doesn't make sense to me. The historic Mount Nelson hotel in Cape Town, South Africa is named after a British war hero who died fighting in a naval battle off the coast of Cadiz, Spain against Napoleon Bonaparte's fleets in a conflict that had NOTHING to do with South Africa. I've spent the last hour searching for a connection between the battle and Cape Town, and I got jack-squat. The hotel is literally a monument to British imperialism. It was the first establishment in South Africa to have hot and cold running water and was used by the British to plan their military campaigns during the South African Anglo-Boer War in 1899. Which, by the way, was their second attempt to unify South Africa under their British imperial rule. Sound familiar? It was like America part II. The British still hadn't figured out that colonies didn't want to be colonies.

We had our first taste of this posh post-monarchal life in the Mount Nelson while waiting for a fishing charter Captain in the tea room. Yes, there was a tea room, full of fine china and argyle sweater-vests. Walking into the light airy parlor filled with plush victorian style furniture we were immediately caught off guard by the overwhelming opulence. I felt like I had walked into the first class dining hall on the Titanic, at any moment we would be approach by staff and reminded we held a third class ticket and must return below deck to the Irish bar party. It had that old world money feel to it, exuding entitlement. From the staff who avoided eye contact with us to the guests who stuck up their nose from our dirty jeans, down to the silver spoons to scoop sugar cubes for English tea; I was unendingly uncomfortable in that oppressively old lobby.

Immediately Caz and I started humdrum laughing like we had like we had curly mustaches and matching monocles and large jovial bellies. We sat in a on a blue velvet couch pretending to be masters of the universe, discussing how we would incite civil war amongst the locals, causing just enough instability to reap all their natural resources, while we sipped brandy. A picture of an old british colonizer stared back at us from behind his spectacles and we could imagine him smoking a cigar in that parlor, drinking tea, and discussing how to carve up the rest of the continent with his business partners back in the old empire.

We ran out of that lobby like we were being chased by the ghosts of the British Royal Court.

Exactly how being in that hotel felt.

My advice? If you want a real South African experience in South Africa, don't stay at the Mount Nelson. If you want to spend a lot of money, spoil yourself in luxury, and pretend your not on the dark continent, then by all means. High tea is served at 2:30 where you can "enjoy delicate finger sandwiches filled with rare roast beef and rocket, smoked salmon, egg mayonnaise or cucumber" as well as delighting in the company of other people who also love their pedestals. 

Mandy