African Infusion

I have recently been asked how exactly I know so much about the history of Africa. 

It's something of a shocking question. Why would it be shocking that I am well informed about a particular subject? The answer is because this subject is particularly overlooked. For decades - no, centuries- no, forever - Africa has been regarded as the dark place. A place not worth its own histories. Its own rich heritage. Its own stories. 

But, this is old news. Most of you already know just how much you don't know about Africa. Yes, it's an endemic issue in American (and otherwise) education systems. I know. 

But what can we do about this? How do we proceed? For those of you out there who want to, what can you do to become informed individuals?

Several people have asked me this. Sometimes I'm asked how exactly it is I became so in-the-know about African culture, politics, geography, etc. And, I am always looking to learn more. 

All of the information in the world is at your fingertips these days. Reach out and take it. Here's some suggestions! 

Literature:

 We Wish to Inform You Tomorrow We Will Be Killed With Our Families - Philip Gourevitch

          
          This incredible book is a chronicle of the problems we are still facing in Central Africa. From British race scientists to Belgium's unbelievable decision to issue racial identification cards, Gourevitch walks the reader through the visceral tragedy of Rwanda in 1994. He starts at the beginning, and I mean the very beginning, and takes you right to the end. In the middle, he reads you a letter written by a group of Rwandans locked inside a church, awaiting their death at the hands of their countrymen. After reading his incredible account of Rwanda, constructed from historical facts, captivating descriptions and personal accounts in interviews, you are left full of a horrible discomfort. A discomfort knowing that human beings are capable of the incredible brutality and rampant racism that results in genocide. Best of all, after knowing exactly what became of the genocidaires, it's easy to see the root of many of the current problems that have spilled across the borders into DRC. You'll have a leg up on anyone trying to look at present-day African geopolitics without that important context. A must read. 

The Stone Virgins - Yvonne Vera

          The above recommendation came from my love of nonfiction, of the cold, hard truth that has built modern Africa. This book lies on the opposite end of the spectrum, but I think is equally important in discovering what Africa is all about. Vera writes in a prose that is dense. It is dripping with imagery, subtlety, grace. She places the reader on the outskirts of Bulawayo, Zimbabwe and sets the stage for the fight for independence. Her writing style is infectious and you are instantly submerged in her carefully painted world. She tells her story of Zimbabwe's struggle in a distinctly personal and stunningly dramatic way. All of the violence and tragedy of her country's story is packed into the lives of two sisters, one of whom falls under the vicious brutality of revolution, and the second who must continue on into the new Zimbabwe covered in scars and memories of her struggle. One of the most overlooked aspects of this great continent is the incredible artists who have contributed to their diverse and incredibly rich cultures. Vera proves that she deserves a spot among the great (white) European authors and gives her reader a story only she could tell, a tale that deserves to sit with the classics. 


Ok there's two you can start with... What about movies?

The Constant Gardener
Hotel Rwanda
Long Walk to Freedom
The Last King of Scotland
Blood Diamond

Just a few very popular and easy to find favorites. I will most likely update on this again with some more African films about Africa - In the meantime, start with this!

- Rh

The Gouna Project

As Caz mentioned in her Circles in the Forest post, we've been quiet lately. Too quiet. It's been the silence before the storm and let me tell you, things are about to get rowdy. This slow and painful building of suspense is finally over and we can breath again. Breath the good clean air of success and slow world domination. So what have we been doing in the last few quiet months? It's almost the end of April and in that time we may or may not have started an entire non-profit from the ground up...

So skipping all the juicy details that got us to that point, because I mean, we don't want to spoil the movie that'll inevitably be made about our lives, here's the start to our amazing journey running The Gouna Project.

ENJOY!!

What makes a tourist?

Think you know South Africa? Submit your answers and we will grade you from American to German to Xhosa yourself! You don't even have to submit them, just realize that there's a lot more to this country than Kruger! 



So you went on safari once huh? Do you even know what safari means? in Swahili?!? Do you even know what countries speak Swahili?!!!?

1. What are the 11 official languages of South Africa?

2. What are the 9 provinces?

3. What language is very often heard throughout the country but is not one of the official languages?

4. What group of people makes up a major percentage of the population yet does not speak their native language, nor is it an official language?

5. Name 5 of South Africa’s National Parks?

6. What is the southernmost point of Africa?

7. What species of whale draws tourists from all over the world during its migration around the southernmost tip of Africa?

8. What are the two major political parties of South Africa and what do their acronyms stand for?

9. What is the significance of 46664?

10. What is the largest township in South Africa?

11. What is the name of one truly mixed race township outside of Cape Town?

12. What is the largest township outside of Cape Town by population? By area?

13. What does enkosi mean?

14. What is the national bird of South Africa? What is the national flower?

15. Which bay lies just behind Cape Town and which lies just in front of it?

16. What does klein mean?

17. Was Nelson Mandela a Xhosa or a Zulu? What is Jacob Zuma?

18. Who is premier of Western Cape?

19. Who is mayor of Cape Town?

20. What is the capital of South Africa?

21. Which of South Africa’s neighbors used to be a part of the country?

22. Name six of South Africa’s immediate neighbors.

23. Name the four geographical structures that create the city bowl of Cape Town.

24. What does bafana bafana mean? What language is it in?

25. Name three of South Africa’s top exports and the provinces from which they come.

26. What is Kimberly, South Africa famous for? Name two things that are named after it.

27. What time zone is South Africa in? Is there daylights savings?

28. Where is malaria found in South Africa?

29. In what year was the current constitution written? What rights does it allow that the US does not?

30. Where is the oldest botanical garden in Africa?

31. Why is it inadvisable to swim off the majority of Cape Town’s beaches?

32. Name three ways in which you could distinguish a black South African from someone with Bushman ancestry?

33. In Xhosa, which three letters represent clicks?

34. What was the Bantu migration?

35. Name three coastal major cities of South Africa. Name three landlocked.

36. What is the national tree of South Africa?

37. What is a tarantaal?

38. What river delineates a segment of the border between South Africa and Namibia?

39. What is the most dangerous land animal in and around Cape Town?

40. Name five of the top venomous snakes of South Africa.

41. What’s was number one cause of death in South Africa in 2012?

42. In what year did apartheid end?

43. In what language does Knysna mean ‘ferns’?

44. What plant do the Bushmen use to sleep on?

45. What are the big five? Why did they get recognition as the big five?

46. Who colonized South Africa?

47. What major surgery was first performed in South Africa?

48. What are two specifically South African dog breeds?

49. What is South Africa’s version of jerky?

50. What famous avian hangs out on Boulder’s beach?

51. What is Namaqualand famous for?

52. What are the top three sports to watch in South Africa?

53. What is Qunu famous for?

54. Who was F W de Klerk?

55. What two oceans meet along South Africa’s coast?

We Started an Internship...

CALLING ALL TEACHERS! Or people in schools of education! I have an AMAZING opportunity for you here in South Africa - I'm setting up a small internship program that lasts between 6 and 12 weeks where you teach a single student from 8 am to 1 pm (subject to slight changes depending on the situation, but not more than five hours) daily with your own lesson plans and receive a small stipend as well as free room and board on a sustainable organic farm (you can pick veggies and fruits from the garden as needed!) in return!!! In your down time, you are free to use transportation provided (as long as you have a valid drivers license) to explore the most beautiful coastline in the world - pristine beaches and epic forested mountains you say?!? Not to mention, you get the unique and exciting experience of life here in South Africa. It is an incredible place for you to learn and grow on your own, all while getting a small income and a free private place to stay! Trust me, this is an opportunity of a lifetime and if ANYONE you know who is either a teacher or working on their degree in teaching has free time this summer (running from May to October) and is interested in applying please email me at cazeaglefeather@gmail.com for a brochure and an application!

Feel free to pass this along! I would really appreciate it! (if you'd like you can even post this in your respective universities school of education pages, that would be awesomely helpful! Thanks everybody!)

-Rh

Circles in the Forest

I know we've been quiet for some time.

It's like when you have a naughty child under your supervision and all day long they've been screaming and yelling and running around probably with dirt all over their face and yellow paint from god-knows-where schmeared across their clothes and some other innocent bystander's clothes. Then all of a sudden they're quiet. Quiet, sitting by themselves, or just with one friend who was most recently their partner in crime, sticking gum in some poor kid's bowl-cut hair, both of them now making very few waves in the existential vortex around them when just moments ago they were the seat of all the motion of the universe. 

You know something is up. We have a secret.

That's Mandela and I. Adult versions of that. Occasionally tee-hee ing in the Jeep while we criss-cross Western Cape. Scheming. We have BIG BIG BIG plans in the making and we aren't ready to reveal them to the world. But we're building. Building and scheming and studying up for the days to come. For the years to follow. For the life we are etching out from bare rock and soil on top of a mountain.  

Here's a brief overview of the other chaotic things we've been up to that we aren't so secretive about:

1. For nearly all of January, my cousin and a dear friend of mine from University of Miami were visiting - we spent the first week with G Adventures (my third trip with them this year - highly recommended for budget and solo travelers, as well as anyone who loves a good adventure) briefly in Johannesburg and for the rest of the time bounding around Kruger. It was a spectacular new visage of South Africa for me - Gauteng province is apparently all business, though the part we visited was a bit haphazard and a strange assortment of game, bush and airport. Mpumalanga though. Mpumalanga was so much more than I had anticipated. The rolling green hills were beyond gorgeous. The land had such a serenity, such a pristine and quiet calm that overtook every curve or sweep of the countryside. I was shocked by it. I hadn't expected South Africa to hold so much beauty beyond the Garden Route, which is often termed the most beautiful area of the country. There are apparently several regional contenders for this title. 

Mpumalanga

Crossing into Limpopo, we entered Kruger. The bush was as I had anticipated, flush with impala and buffalo. We got up close and personal with white rhino, elephant and lion alike, even a lucky chance meeting with a leopard put everyone in good spirits, highlighting the extreme good fortune we had, seeing all big five in one day. We never saw cheetah, but bringing my friends to a reserve in Stellenbosch later, we were able to sit and pet one, so that's probably good enough, right?

After Kruger we toured all over Cape Town. It was made extraordinarily difficult, however, as my car had been recently gutted and rendered useless by a pair of asshat mechanics in Sedgefield (never ever bring your car to J and R Auto in Sedge just off the N2. Seriously, they are crooks and gamblers and they will remove your engine and keep your car hostage for weeks). In any case, I rented a chevy. Literally the worst car I've ever driven and complete kak on fuel but hey, it got us to Knysna! There, my friends met up with Mandi the Midwife and her amazing family and extended family and all the wonderful people of Heartland Organic Farm in Elandskraal. We had a quick stay there and enjoyed the peace and warmth of Heartland before back on the N2. Back to Kaapstad. 

Once back on the good old Cape, we had some serious chill time introducing our new tourists to life as a Capetonian. We attended a football match in Cape Town Stadium (Bafana bafana vs. Mozambique) and had a riotously good time. I learned that Bafana bafana is a Zulu term that actually loosely translates to "the boys" or "one of the boys", which made me find the team rather endearing, even though they played quite terribly (seriously they didn't even qualify for the World Cup). Nonetheless, we had a fabulous night cheering. We made it up the mountain and onto signal hill, tasted wines at Spier in Stellenbosch, drove Chapman's Peak Drive and visited the penguins at Boulder's Beach, had a beer at Mzoli's in Gugulethu, walked the paths of Africa's oldest botanical garden in Kirstenbosch, did township tours and even accompanied me on my first time sitting down in my South African's house in Mitchell's Plain to meet his mother. It was as awkward as it sounds. I was sweating. 

After three weeks of enjoying the time seeing my beautiful American counterparts, they were gone. Mandela and I cleaned, organized, regrouped while I recovered from an incredibly nasty flu given to me by none other than Mandy's boyfriend, Froggy. 

Oh wait, I should mention something. Froggy has been with us since mid-December. That means that in my tiny one bedroom/studio apartment with no walls and no personal space there were six people staying. SIX. 

Once it was back down to the usual four it was so quiet. So spacious. So still. 

2. The respite was brief, however, as within three days we had our third guest. This one, however, arrived as an American ex-pat currently stationed as a teacher in Shanghai, China. I was hesitant at first. I'm always hesitant when I learn someone I don't know is staying in my no bedroom wall-less apartment with very little personal space and oh they're from Wisconsin? Even better. However, Becky had me eat my words within an hour of her arrival. She was so EXCITED about South Africa in such a genuine way. I can't help but appreciate people who are just as enthusiastic and interested in a continent that has such poor PR worldwide, a place that is so marginalized, so defined by its crime rate and corruption in the minds of anyone who has never felt the immensity of the heart of Africa. 

Becky was a fantastic addition to have around. She asked so many questions. She gave me so many opportunities to talk about things, in earnest, that I rarely get to speak about. We had sessions where African politics was a real, viable discussion. Where I could explain how race scientists in the 1930s and 1940s shaped the Rwandan genocide in 1994. How the genocidaires simply moved to Eastern Congo and are part of the violence and instability that persists in the region even now. We spoke about the coup in Mali and their history of democracy. Their history of ATT that no one, no one in the West has ever bothered to speak about. We talked about the drawing of the lines in Africa. We looked at maps. It was educational, and it was inspiring to meet young Americans who are still actively engaging with these ideas. With concepts that, when ignored, keep Africa shrouded in mystery, confined to the notion that there is simply a primordial violence that plagues it.

It was so refreshing. I was sad when Becky's two weeks were up and she had to return to China. She is a teacher there. Of three year olds. No wonder she is so full of inquiry. I think we have a lot to learn from young minds. Stay blank and open until you go forth and learn. Then simplify everything. And once you think you've learned all there is to know, you only have to relearn how to be blank and open again, for there is never an end to learning. If you look at atoms we're something like 99.9% empty space anyway. Blank, vapid, empty space. Keep learning.

3. Oh, I should also mention that it was my South African's birthday on February 5th. 

We celebrated in the most fabulous way we could possibly celebrate, and in a way that filled our hearts in the exact way a party or a cake should. At my South African's request, for his 27th birthday we filled 27 bags with a simple but nutritious dinner for the homeless of Cape Town. We spent the afternoon preparing peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with an apple, a juice box and a handwritten note of encouragement. That night, after the sun went down, we all piled in the jeep and set out to find people who really needed a meal. We checked the most downtrodden and stressed corners. We found people huddled under blankets or shuffling along the road. We found them alone, or with their significant other, clinging to each other for warmth and sharing their hardships in the most basic of embraces. It was a beautiful process. It filled us all with such a sense of importance, of humility, of faith that if we all did our part and made sandwiches, it would have an impact. On the drive back home we passed some of the people fortunate enough to cross paths with our Jeep that night, clutching their sandwich or sipping their juice box, so enraptured. 

The backs of each of these cards said Happy February 5th!

We were asked later why we didn't go out and celebrate with drinks and a party. It's because the feeling of seeing someone else light up when much of their world is dominated by the darkness because of something that you did is far better than any bar or party would ever be, and instead of wasting the money on drinks, we pooled our resources and made a difference. 

As we did for Mandy's birthday, we accompanied the sandwich project with 27 messages of hope and inspiring quotes pasted around the city of Cape Town, from Gardens to the City Center and the Waterfront. More messages to the people of this glorious place.

Sufi poetry anyone?

It is most certainly going to be a birthday tradition here. I hope it catches on. 

4. I've learned so much in the last month. I've accomplished things I thought completely impossible. I've balanced so many commitments and causes. I started volunteering at Spier with their birds of prey. I've gotten my textbooks and am self studying to pass an entrance exam into a direct entry program for third year medical school in Johannesburg. I'll hopefully be registered for Anatomy and Physiology soon at UCT. I am a powerful force here and I spend each day working on the dream we are building. 

I've gotten so many books. Self study has been the only option. The learning curve is far too steep for anything else. Here are some of the many things I've had to learn very quickly in the last month:

- How to paint a house.
- How to even choose what color you should be painting a house and why and what kind of paint for concrete and what if it's wet oh god we forgot to paint the ceiling and we have no ladder etc.
- How to treat a puff adder bite.
- How to even identify a puff adder from a night adder or a cape cobra or a boomslang or black mamba or rhombic skaapsteker ok the list is very long here how about basic snake identification.
- How to finish unpainted furniture.
- Irrigation systems and how to plant trees (note: trees apparently can be very picky).
- How to know when someone is speaking about you in Afrikaans while you're standing right there.
- How to drive off road. I don't just mean off the paved road like haha oh fun it's dirt and there's potholes and some ravine-like ditches. I mean no road no unpaved road oh god we're in the bush lets all pray to the lords of the fynbos there's not a massive rock somewhere in this brush and oh no we're on a pile of rotting wood? Everyone please take a moment to appreciate Jeeps.
- Spider and scorpion identification. FICK TAIL EVERYBODY. VERY POISONOUS.
- How to handle a significant other who is cold turkey quitting smoking and how not to want to kill them.
- How to not let them kill you.
- How to juggle four different lawyers and not have to pay them. 
- How to cure literally anything with herbs. Aneurysm? No problem. Rub a little catnip on that shit.
- How to build a medical clinic out of an old shipping container.
- How to identify birds of prey in Southern Africa. 
- How to be absolutely stone-faced while keeping incredibly stressful secrets. 
- How to visit a prisoner in Pollsmoor.
- How to cook almost anything on an open fire. Because you're staying somewhere with no running water and no electricity and it's been 2 days and someone is coming for dinner and you have to make something semi-fancy and maybe edible.
- How to identify mushrooms of Southern Africa (note: mainly inedible or poisonous, don't attempt to use in dinner you're trying so desperately to make). 

Ok the list is probably a lot longer but that's the best I can do for now. We are in the middle of an unending, inexhaustible adventure that has consumed us. We are so inexorably tied to the land, the veld, the bush, the beating heart of this country that we could never possibly escape. Nor do we want to. We ran away to just the right place. Just the right range topped in pristine indigenous forest. We are embedded.  

- Rh

Mr. Monkey Turns THREE!

Happy Birthday to my fabulous Mr. Buddha. It's been a fantastic two and a half years together and I'm thankful to be able to mark his third birthday here in South Africa. Moving from Miami to Cape Town has certainly turned him into an African Wild Dog, and while we've had our fair share of hurdles I'm happy he's been here with me to conquer this new city together. He's all the family I have on this continent and I can't imagine my days without him. Love you Senor Bubs! (ps. the cake is dog friendly - made with oats, sweet potato, carrots, banana and cottage cheese/plain yogurt icing... and some droewors!)

There and Back Again. An American's Tale of Christmas and Manual Driving.

Growing up in the Midwest I couldn't imagine a Christmas that wasn't white. Snow, Santa, snowmen, boots, cookies, snowflake decorations, my grandmother dressing us all up like elves in order to receive gifts she spent all year meticulously preparing. Christmas isn't just a holiday up there in the cold north it's like a cultish ritual. After moving to South Africa I was facing not only my first Christmas away from my family but my first snow-free Christmas. It would be middle of summer when the festivities began and I was confused. Normally in the States the progression of holidays goes Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas. Here it goes; September 31? Yea let's start hanging snow flakes tomorrow. Whhaaaat?? Oh yea that's right. Thanksgiving isn't a thing here. Neither is Halloween. But neither is snow, so I really am confused. My brain had zero priming for Christmas. Despite all the glowing snowflake lights hung from palm trees on the waterfront, and the inflated Santa climbing the Cape Union Mart building, I just wasn't feeling it. While there were quite a few Christmas sales, it wasn't anything like the monstrous commercialism we experience at home. At home you are essentially bludgeoned to death with sales. Lets not even talk about black friday. That's an embarrassment to our Nation as a whole. It was a brand new way to see the holidays from down here. Christmas really was geared towards family time. Everyone was on summer vacation and going home to see loved ones, going to the beach, and relaxing with one another. What a stark difference to the cold barren landscape of Wisconsin dotted with billboards to remind you how broke you're going to be when this chaos is all over.

After the long awaited arrival of THE GREATEST BOYFRIEND EVER (Brandon Reed, take a bow) in Cape Town, our little hodgepodge South African family consisting of Caz, Muda, Brandon, me, and Buddha were all invited to join in the Summer Solstice celebration with the Busson family out in Knysna. It was our goal to make Brandon fall in love with South Africa, and introducing him to our tribe on the Garden Route was a great place to start. Knysna here we come! We only planned on staying until Boxing day (the day after Christmas), but Caz will explain more on what happened to Gloria the Jeep. We spent our days helping Mikyle in her garden, going to the beach, running every morning down an old logging road to the bottom of a valley. Brandon even dragged us to the beach at 5am one morning to do a crazy crossfit style workout which included but was not limited to burpees, soccer ball pushups, and sliding across the beach like spiderman while onlookers eyeballed us like crazy people.

How did you spend your holiday?!

He looks cranky, but he's the one who made us get up at 5am.
No one really know why he looks like an East African tribesmen either. 

Hmmmm breakfast in Sedgfield. 

Christmas was calm, sunny, full of food, and a happy people. It was an unChristmas celebration. With a horde of hippies at the helm we took back the traditional holiday of the summer solstice in the southern hemisphere. We braaied, we drank, we swam in the deep-orange dam water, and we were happy to be alive and in South Africa with these people we have claimed as our own. A few days later Caz and Muda hopped on a greyhound bus and headed back to Cape Town for work and Brandon and I waited for Gloria to get out of disrepair.

Mandi and Al <3

Heterolifepartner. <3

New Years held a similar theme. We drove down the Rheenendal road towards the national forestry to hike through an indigenous forest to a waterfall and natural dam in the mountains. It was the best way I could have closed out the year. Brandon and I, along with Mikyle and Dan the Man met up with two other South Africans who were just a delight to be with. The two South Africans we met told us they had been to the Midwest. "Why?" was our unanimous response. Apparently they had won a radio contest for a free round trip ticket to the United States to use within a year. With limited information and a shoe string budget their journey led them to EVERY SINGLE Midwestern state EXCEPT Wisconsin. Did I mention they went in the dead of winter? Yea. These poor poor souls went for an American adventure and landed themselves in the worst cities imaginable and then added the frozen tundra factor. As we were regaled of their arduous journey we were reminded how f*cking weird the Midwest really is. They encountered poor social skills, singing homeless, and I'm sure a serial killer or two without even knowing it as the Midwest has the highest concentration of them in the world. NOT A GOOD VACATION DESTINATION. I love hearing different perspectives on the United States though from outsiders, its so interesting to hear what they have to say.

Dan harvested bananas and Brandon was BLOWNAWAY by what
 they actually look like before they get to a supermarket.
Also, Dan is just awesome.

Buddha never wants to leave.

After an extended stay of two weeks on the Garden Route it was now Thursday the 2nd and we were suppose to be able to pick up Gloria from the mechanics and drive her back to Cape Town for our Friday meetings. After phoning the garage we discovered last minute that he had taken the whole dam thing apart and we wouldn't be able to take it until the next week. Uhhhhhh greeeat. Now what?! We started getting anxious about our game plan to get back. The mechanic offered us a hitched ride to the city with his son-in-law which sounded just awful. No offense but driving 5+ hours with a cranky mechanic didn't sound fun, especially after he wanted $100 for petrol.

So in a last ditch effort we started calling every car rental place we could trying to find a car we could drive back out to Cape Town on a 2 hours notice. Thanks to the Summer/Christmas season though, there was NOTHING available anywhere. It was starting to look like we were going to be stranded out on the Garden Route forever (which certainly isn't the worst of fates). But nonetheless, we had shit to do in Cape Town and this mechanic was ruining our lives! We finally found ONE last available car in Knysna. The catch? It was manual. Which would be fine if either of us knew anything about manual driving. The United States has not prepared us for the real world. So I got off the phone having not booked the car we can't drive anyways to discuss our options. A) We stay in Elandskraal indefinitely or B) We drive manual blind the 5 hours to Cape Town. Hmm. Brandon just belts out, "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED." So I guess that's that, I called back and attempted to book the car that was available not 20 minutes early and OF COURSE someone booked it out from under us. SON OF B*T@H.

Thank god Mandi the magnificent is a ninja and she thought of the great idea to call one of the small local rentals, not a big chain like Avis or the like. So she called around for us and found one guy way out in George who was willing to rent a shoebox sized Chevy SparkLite to two Americans, manual of course, and instead of being able to drop the car off anywhere in Cape Town we have to bring it BACK out to George the next Wednesday. Which actually worked out great because we can pick up Gloria as well. Anyways, at this point it's about 5pm and Mandi's husband Al offered so graciously to give us a manual crash course on our way to pick up the rental. After about 100 stalls and almost coasting into oncoming traffic, both Brandon and I felt semi-confident enough to drive ourselves to Cape Town in the dark. Please baby Jesus get us there alive. "Clutch and break. Clutch and break. Clutch and break, neutral, down to first, gas, off the clutch... GOD DAMMIT." Went every single stop light as the car jerked forward and turned itself off. I was not amused.

CONCENTRATE. DON'T CRASH. 

DON'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THE SUNSET, JUST DRIVE. 

But somehow we made it to the rental. Don't ask how, because I couldn't tell you. After getting the shoebox chevy and filling it with Buddha and all our stuff we looked like a pair of homeless Americans living out of our car. We got out onto the freeway and realized that we were given the car on almost a completely empty tank. WHO DOES THAT?! Anyways, we looked on the GPS for a gas station that took us down a creepy dirt road to a supposed fill up station, but when we got there the GPS had actually taken us to a grocery store. This was the probably the 10th time that day I slammed my face into whatever was in front of me. Could things get anymore complicated?! Yes. They could. Why did I even ask? Because it was 25 minutes to the nearest actual petrol station. Of course it was, right? Red light E and it's 25 minutes away... We sat in frustrated silence before we decided that we had to at least try to get there. We couldn't just sit in a grocery store parking lot surrounded by surfers. On the N2 again... Hope we don't run out of fuel...

As darkness creeps across southern Africa, we hunt for fuel.

And again, as if by divine intervention we found ourselves at a real petrol station that was fully functional and not a grocery store in disguise. By now it was almost 7:30pm and Caz had called, less than pleased we were driving a manual 5 hours in the dark on the N2 to Cape Town. It really did sound like the worst idea we had ever had. But here we were! Executing the worst plan ever! WE RIDE WEST. I just narrated our entire journey as if we were in Lord of the Rings. It was the only useful coping skill.

The whole car ride was shockingly uneventful. It wasn't until I was driving through Sir Lowry's Pass perched upon a cliff's edge looking down at the whole of Cape Town below us that I thought we were going to die. I am unexplainably horrified of heights, and I had forgotten how treacherous this pass was, how fast everyone takes the sharp turns, and how many people die on it every year. There I was, in the dark, puttering in 3rd gear, going 40kph, trying not to die. After making it down that cliff I was so happy to see the little lights of Khayelitsha in the distance, lining the freeway. Of course the main freeway lights were all burnt out, but hey; Africa.

I would have been relieved to see Cape Town sprawled out and so close if it hadn't
been for the fact that we were perilously close to a cliff face. 

Getting into the city was a new kind of stressful. A hill-filled, frequent stoplights, kind of stressful. I got stuck on 3 different hills, almost rolled back into 2 cars, and almost hit 1 pedestrian. The coordination it takes to use the hand break, clutch, and gas all in one swift movement was way more than my tired, fried brain could realistically handle. I was ready to start crying by the time we finally puttered into a badly maneuvered parking spot. I just didn't care at that point. My nerves were tapped out. We made it to Cape Town alive and victorious! Also minorly delirious and very emotional.

Life lesson's learned on this adventure? Everyone should know how to drive stick. You never know when you might be stranded in Africa.

Mandy