After the long awaited arrival of THE GREATEST BOYFRIEND EVER (Brandon Reed, take a bow) in Cape Town, our little hodgepodge South African family consisting of Caz, Muda, Brandon, me, and Buddha were all invited to join in the Summer Solstice celebration with the Busson family out in Knysna. It was our goal to make Brandon fall in love with South Africa, and introducing him to our tribe on the Garden Route was a great place to start. Knysna here we come! We only planned on staying until Boxing day (the day after Christmas), but Caz will explain more on what happened to Gloria the Jeep. We spent our days helping Mikyle in her garden, going to the beach, running every morning down an old logging road to the bottom of a valley. Brandon even dragged us to the beach at 5am one morning to do a crazy crossfit style workout which included but was not limited to burpees, soccer ball pushups, and sliding across the beach like spiderman while onlookers eyeballed us like crazy people.
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| How did you spend your holiday?! |
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| He looks cranky, but he's the one who made us get up at 5am. No one really know why he looks like an East African tribesmen either. |
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| Hmmmm breakfast in Sedgfield. |
Christmas was calm, sunny, full of food, and a happy people. It was an unChristmas celebration. With a horde of hippies at the helm we took back the traditional holiday of the summer solstice in the southern hemisphere. We braaied, we drank, we swam in the deep-orange dam water, and we were happy to be alive and in South Africa with these people we have claimed as our own. A few days later Caz and Muda hopped on a greyhound bus and headed back to Cape Town for work and Brandon and I waited for Gloria to get out of disrepair.
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| Mandi and Al <3 |
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| Heterolifepartner. <3 |
New Years held a similar theme. We drove down the Rheenendal road towards the national forestry to hike through an indigenous forest to a waterfall and natural dam in the mountains. It was the best way I could have closed out the year. Brandon and I, along with Mikyle and Dan the Man met up with two other South Africans who were just a delight to be with. The two South Africans we met told us they had been to the Midwest. "Why?" was our unanimous response. Apparently they had won a radio contest for a free round trip ticket to the United States to use within a year. With limited information and a shoe string budget their journey led them to EVERY SINGLE Midwestern state EXCEPT Wisconsin. Did I mention they went in the dead of winter? Yea. These poor poor souls went for an American adventure and landed themselves in the worst cities imaginable and then added the frozen tundra factor. As we were regaled of their arduous journey we were reminded how f*cking weird the Midwest really is. They encountered poor social skills, singing homeless, and I'm sure a serial killer or two without even knowing it as the Midwest has the highest concentration of them in the world. NOT A GOOD VACATION DESTINATION. I love hearing different perspectives on the United States though from outsiders, its so interesting to hear what they have to say.
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| Dan harvested bananas and Brandon was BLOWNAWAY by what they actually look like before they get to a supermarket. Also, Dan is just awesome. |
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| Buddha never wants to leave. |
After an extended stay of two weeks on the Garden Route it was now Thursday the 2nd and we were suppose to be able to pick up Gloria from the mechanics and drive her back to Cape Town for our Friday meetings. After phoning the garage we discovered last minute that he had taken the whole dam thing apart and we wouldn't be able to take it until the next week. Uhhhhhh greeeat. Now what?! We started getting anxious about our game plan to get back. The mechanic offered us a hitched ride to the city with his son-in-law which sounded just awful. No offense but driving 5+ hours with a cranky mechanic didn't sound fun, especially after he wanted $100 for petrol.
So in a last ditch effort we started calling every car rental place we could trying to find a car we could drive back out to Cape Town on a 2 hours notice. Thanks to the Summer/Christmas season though, there was NOTHING available anywhere. It was starting to look like we were going to be stranded out on the Garden Route forever (which certainly isn't the worst of fates). But nonetheless, we had shit to do in Cape Town and this mechanic was ruining our lives! We finally found ONE last available car in Knysna. The catch? It was manual. Which would be fine if either of us knew anything about manual driving. The United States has not prepared us for the real world. So I got off the phone having not booked the car we can't drive anyways to discuss our options. A) We stay in Elandskraal indefinitely or B) We drive manual blind the 5 hours to Cape Town. Hmm. Brandon just belts out, "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED." So I guess that's that, I called back and attempted to book the car that was available not 20 minutes early and OF COURSE someone booked it out from under us. SON OF B*T@H.
Thank god Mandi the magnificent is a ninja and she thought of the great idea to call one of the small local rentals, not a big chain like Avis or the like. So she called around for us and found one guy way out in George who was willing to rent a shoebox sized Chevy SparkLite to two Americans, manual of course, and instead of being able to drop the car off anywhere in Cape Town we have to bring it BACK out to George the next Wednesday. Which actually worked out great because we can pick up Gloria as well. Anyways, at this point it's about 5pm and Mandi's husband Al offered so graciously to give us a manual crash course on our way to pick up the rental. After about 100 stalls and almost coasting into oncoming traffic, both Brandon and I felt semi-confident enough to drive ourselves to Cape Town in the dark. Please baby Jesus get us there alive. "Clutch and break. Clutch and break. Clutch and break, neutral, down to first, gas, off the clutch... GOD DAMMIT." Went every single stop light as the car jerked forward and turned itself off. I was not amused.
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| CONCENTRATE. DON'T CRASH. |
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| DON'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THE SUNSET, JUST DRIVE. |
But somehow we made it to the rental. Don't ask how, because I couldn't tell you. After getting the shoebox chevy and filling it with Buddha and all our stuff we looked like a pair of homeless Americans living out of our car. We got out onto the freeway and realized that we were given the car on almost a completely empty tank. WHO DOES THAT?! Anyways, we looked on the GPS for a gas station that took us down a creepy dirt road to a supposed fill up station, but when we got there the GPS had actually taken us to a grocery store. This was the probably the 10th time that day I slammed my face into whatever was in front of me. Could things get anymore complicated?! Yes. They could. Why did I even ask? Because it was 25 minutes to the nearest actual petrol station. Of course it was, right? Red light E and it's 25 minutes away... We sat in frustrated silence before we decided that we had to at least try to get there. We couldn't just sit in a grocery store parking lot surrounded by surfers. On the N2 again... Hope we don't run out of fuel...
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| As darkness creeps across southern Africa, we hunt for fuel. |
And again, as if by divine intervention we found ourselves at a real petrol station that was fully functional and not a grocery store in disguise. By now it was almost 7:30pm and Caz had called, less than pleased we were driving a manual 5 hours in the dark on the N2 to Cape Town. It really did sound like the worst idea we had ever had. But here we were! Executing the worst plan ever! WE RIDE WEST. I just narrated our entire journey as if we were in Lord of the Rings. It was the only useful coping skill.
The whole car ride was shockingly uneventful. It wasn't until I was driving through Sir Lowry's Pass perched upon a cliff's edge looking down at the whole of Cape Town below us that I thought we were going to die. I am unexplainably horrified of heights, and I had forgotten how treacherous this pass was, how fast everyone takes the sharp turns, and how many people die on it every year. There I was, in the dark, puttering in 3rd gear, going 40kph, trying not to die. After making it down that cliff I was so happy to see the little lights of Khayelitsha in the distance, lining the freeway. Of course the main freeway lights were all burnt out, but hey; Africa.
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| I would have been relieved to see Cape Town sprawled out and so close if it hadn't been for the fact that we were perilously close to a cliff face. |
Getting into the city was a new kind of stressful. A hill-filled, frequent stoplights, kind of stressful. I got stuck on 3 different hills, almost rolled back into 2 cars, and almost hit 1 pedestrian. The coordination it takes to use the hand break, clutch, and gas all in one swift movement was way more than my tired, fried brain could realistically handle. I was ready to start crying by the time we finally puttered into a badly maneuvered parking spot. I just didn't care at that point. My nerves were tapped out. We made it to Cape Town alive and victorious! Also minorly delirious and very emotional.
Life lesson's learned on this adventure? Everyone should know how to drive stick. You never know when you might be stranded in Africa.
Mandy
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